Addiction

Hi Lumír, I want to ask, I was addicted to alcohol, now I am abstinent for 6 years, but through meditation I got to a state where I could see heaven and hell. Heaven prevailed and I was actually the universe and the Beauty of that infinity it was beautiful. At that moment I knew I could do anything and my arms were open. But it's different at home. A big house, lots of work around, the trampling of a father-in-law who hasn't severed the umbilical cord with my husband and it's too much for me and yet I know. Can you give me some advice?

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My dear, before I get to the heart of my answer, I need to make myself CLEAR. The unknown monk says: "The whole world is a fetish.", by which he means in other words that each of the beings indiscriminately "runs on something", is addicted to "something", and there are many addictions, they are mental processes and related activities, and the beings, because of the very "habit" of them, miss the fact that they are all programs which they do not have to undergo at all.

The system, that is the "non-existent entity" that society professes as its "god", divides these ADDICTIONS into "healthy" and "unhealthy". The "healthy" ones, according to "god", are the life-giving addictions, and it talks about those nicely, promotes them, and encourages them. The "unhealthy" addictions are according to "god" against "life" and against "health", the system suppresses them. Well, yes, but the system doesn't care about the individual, the system, for example, doesn't care at all whether the being who is a "representative" of the so-called "healthy addictions" is a good person, or an aggressor with an unprocessed ADDICTION to HATE, ADDICTION to DESIRE for POWER, ADDICTION to FEAR of the future, for which he enjoys the fete of fagging other beings who may not be aggressive at all, even if they are, in the eyes of the system, "junkies". The system doesn't even care if those "junkies" are not "junkies" by accident because it is simply challenging for them to face aggressors DEPENDENT on the DESIRE for POWER. Some people go "fishing", others relax "otherwise", some like "muffins", others "girls", others "both".

And now to your question. It is now clear to you that no one cares about you. That's the reality. Everyone around you doesn't really care what you're into, whether it's booze, smokes, dope, or knitting socks. And face it, you don't care about that either, you care about your fetish. It's just that everyone has to do with what he or she is into, and it doesn't matter if it's "elevating" themselves above you just because you "fall" into the group of "the offended and the reprehensible". Try to understand your loneliness. Try to understand the loneliness of a smartass who revels in "elevating" himself above you. Absurd, isn't it? That's Compassion. Look, you're not really addicted, you're just compensating for your Loneliness by playing at being addicted. You're pretending to "have a problem" so that someone will care for you so that you won't be alone - you're begging for a little attention. I know the "doctors" will object... but the doctors object because they are "comfortable with the patient" without whom they could not "depend on their role as a doctor" - you know how they have worked so hard for it? Do you know how their parents crushed them, and blackmailed them into rejecting them if they didn't graduate? Etc., etc., etc... Have compassion on them, and see that everyone wishes to "save someone"... and everyone wishes to "be saved"... and all for the non-willingness to Accept Solitude.

Now that you understand this, you can have Compassion for yourself, you can Accept your Solitude, you can have Compassion for ALL who Abuse themselves and others because they refuse to Accept Solitude... You can even weep for them, as I did... Now you can go to the DEPTH of your TRAUMA, to its ROOT, you can find out why you play on this addiction to "meditation" or "abstinence" or "alcoholism", why you do it. Who do you not want to forgive for not "wanting to attend to you in the way you imagined" in the past? Who are you so "still holding in your own crick in your neck"? And to whom do you now delegate the "it" that you "don't want to forgive"?

If you don't invest your Willingness and see that it is YOU who invented this CRUEL GAME on yourself, who willingly hurts yourself like this... just because you are compensating for something... if you don't deeply CLEAN it up, you will play the addict and draw attention to yourself: "hey, I'm at it again, pay attention to me", or a teetotaler: "hey how good I am, praise me, I've been sober for six years", and you will miss that you are simply "wishing your parents away", i.e. you don't want to admit to them that they could have been just the way they could have been, that they just couldn't do better than they could. Please acknowledge them as you acknowledge yourself... Acknowledge them as Fragile and Vulnerable beings, and Care about them, and not always "what about you"... and "me me me"... please for you, and for them... look at their pain, and trauma, and how they were treated. And look also at the pain of those who treated them the best they could, because if they could have done better, they could have, but they couldn't. If you can do it, and I TRUST that you CAN do it, you will be HEALED, and from all notions of "addictions". The people I have explained this to have only been able to put down alcohol, drugs, and anti-depressants because they have received the DHARMA, that is the Teachings of the Buddha, so what is possible for them is possible for you...

You don't have to "meditate" to LIVE HEAVEN, you found meditation instead of booze, it's the same game of addiction. DEAR CHRIST says, "If you knew the difference between "I want" and "sacrifice" you would know EVERYTHING." What the Master is saying is that you are to take responsibility for the fact that you actually WANT to be in the situation you are in,you just don't take responsibility for it - it is the PURE recognition that brings the HUGE RELIEF: "This is EXACTLY what I WANTED." Suddenly it doesn't matter if you're in "hell" or "heaven", you are now "above it all, no matter what is happening right now" and only because you understand that you agreed to it all beforehand, that you were born into this incarnation because of it, to go through exactly what you're going through, including the fact that I'm speaking to you right now, to gather your experiences, to keep learning to discover the one thing that's at stake here, which is: "How do I not hurt myself anymore? "...

There is no "at home" and "in meditation", it is still your own subjectivity, and you are constantly Deciding what you want in it, and what you don't. So if the "house is big", sell it. If your husband "disagrees" and doesn't seek a solution with you, divorce and be humble "less is more", which is TRUE GODLINESS, because he who lives it is FREE and always has abundance... If you say your father-in-law is depressing you with "not living his dream", let him live his dream and start living your own. It's not him who is deprecating you, it's you who is deprecating yourself with your own role of victim, while you "only" have to do for yourself what you know you have to do for yourself - it's the easiest thing in the world, and at the same time the most challenging - FREEDOM. If the father-in-law is controlling the husband, and the husband wants to be "controlled", let him, and lovingly, without resentment in the HEART as VENGEANCE because he is "not living as you wish" leave him and tell him, "I love you, that's why I have to leave you..." Why? Because if you don't love yourself enough to be FREE, you don't love him anyway... you're just holding on for a sense of "pseudo-security", you both know it, and you hate yourselves for knowing it and doing nothing about it. So why not love each other?

It's not too much for you, you just wish something was different, according to you, and because it's not, you're depressing yourself, not that "that something depresses you". Again, CHRIST: "Define what you want, and DO it, and you will not be a victim who escapes into the ideas of "addiction" or "meditation"" - by which I am not saying that such Vipassana (meditation taught by Gautama Buddha himself) according to G.N. Goenka is "wrong", I am only saying that whatever you make an escape from is not good for you, no matter how "self-ennobling" it may be in itself.

So you see... nothing is "so much" as it SEEMS... Remember, none of us have anything, and will never get anything... no matter how the DREAM appears, it is impossible to hold it... so let's RELEASE into it TOGETHER...

May All Beings Be Happy!!!

With Love and Respect...

Lumír Láska ♥ Buddha Maitreya